You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
