make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize