Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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