I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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