ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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