She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
