We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
