Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
