Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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