with your own penis?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
