Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need to calm my uterus...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
