You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
