you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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