i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
