marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Randomize
