bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
foreskin is a definite game changer
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
