do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
