2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
