So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
