Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
