Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
