ugly people sure do ruin things
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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