great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
