I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
