no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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