Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif