I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.