I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
