mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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