I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
