Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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