Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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