there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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