Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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