I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
