I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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