hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
