So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
