We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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