is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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