We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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