If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
