yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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