I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
