Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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