Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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