Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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