when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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