So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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