In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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