it's like iHOP with fire
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
