Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
