it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize