Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
