He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We got so high we made milksteak
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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