this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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