I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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