He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
