Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
