Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
