Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
