I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
